Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.
April 25, 2011 Comments Off on Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.
I think so often times I get complaints from girls that all guys are douche bags or there just aren’t any out there. Whether that statement is honestly true or not is besides the point. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship, or already married; the key to any happy relationship lies within you and what you can control: you. Now, before you get all critical or click out of this blog because you think I have absolutely no way of knowing anything because I am neither married or in a dating relationship, I want you to consider this analogy…How many of you know those group of guys or guy that knows literally everything about college football? You know, the type that can tell you where the players went to pre-school, their favorite warmup song, and everything in between, BUT they don’t even play college football yet are still super knowledgeable because they study the game. This is me about dating, you don’t have to be currently married or dating to know a thing or two about relationships…
So here are 3 secrets that I am going to share with you that I have learned about having a healthy, long lasting relationship:
1) Stop dreaming about him and be the person someone else is dreaming about. We all like to think (well yall do, not me) that prince charming is out there just plotting how to sweep us off our feet. However, the only time that plays out is when Walt Disney or Taylor Swift is involved. You have to work on you, you have to work at making yourself right and holy before God. No guy wants a girl to be dependent on him 100%, so if you can learn to define who you really are, what makes you tick, what makes you sad, excited, angry, mad, or happy then you are way ahead of the game – and that’s a really good thing. Stop focusing on “that guy” and start worrying about you alone. When I am looking for a girl, I am closely looking at if she knows who she really is, if she has self confidence to stand alone and depend on God, not me. Each and every girl is beautiful and precious in her own way, but you can’t waste your life dreaming about “mr. right” if you don’t work on being “mrs. right” in the mean time. A high quality guy is looking for a high quality girl!
2) When your walk with God parallels his walk with God, you know you’ve found the right guy. In any relationship you will be in, make sure that you and your boyfriend/husbands walk with Christ is not dependent on you or you’re not dependent on his. Your walk with Christ and goals should be separate from his because this will ensure that you are walking and growing with God, not depending on your man for spiritual breakthroughs. HOWEVER, I do think bible studies, quiet time, and praying for each other are great tools to building a strong relationship together, but it cannot be your only time seeking God for the day. I know so many of yall stress about knowing when “mr. right” will come along, but you will know when he is exemplifying his own walk with God and you are having/enjoying your own walk with God and they will coincide with each other!
3) The goal of every guy should be: to help a girl accomplish her goals and make her a stronger person by not letting her fail in her walk with God. That’s a pretty black/white, non negotiable statement, you will know instantly if he is living this one out. You want a guy that recognizes that you are the most beautiful creation God has created and will cherish and treasure your goals and wants for your life, not tear you down and make you feel bad about yourself by making you enlist to his goals and wants in the relationship. Do not be driven by the affirmation a guy will give you if he is happy with you or not, if you are living to make God happy and he is doing the same, you will never have this issue. Trust me, the more you do with a guy or the greater times you give into what he really wants DOES NOT equal a happy, lasting relationship. It is his duty to make sure that you do not fall astray from your relationship with Christ and to be in constant prayer for you and it is your duty to not tempt him to lead you astray.
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together.” -Matthew 19:4-6
Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-11