Love Doctor (Pt. 3)

May 18, 2011 § 2 Comments

So this week, we have been talking about relationships. As always, leave a comment at the bottom for the Q&A post for fridays blog. This is part 3 of 5 for the series.

You’re going to the doctor today and you’re symptoms are: lack of communication and ability to show love.

Today, we feel the pressures more than ever to give into our wants and desires. We are fueled by a society that is used to getting what it wants, when they want it. Patience is almost a forgotten virtue and our role models are in the next great movie found in the box office. So, where does God fall in all of this? This world is sexually charged and you can’t even flip on the TV without it coming to your head.

Here’s an analogy involving christmas and love:

1) You know it’s December, but it’s just not Christmas day quite yet….You know you’re in a serious relationship and all the elements are there; the feelings, the “I love you”, their ability to always be there for you, the year long relationship (The snow, the cold weather, the christmas music), but you just don’t quite have the ring on her finger yet.

2)  You know exactly what you want, but you’re just not sure yet until you actually open your presents to see if it’s what you wanted…You know exactly what you think sex is about, you think you know exactly what it’s going to feel and be like. But you just won’t know until you actually do it.

3) You have the opportunity to open your presents because you know where they are, even though it’s not even christmas day…You know who would and wouldn’t have sex with you, you know when and where it would be possible, but it’s not even your honeymoon yet.

So here’s the point or the moral of the story- like christmas presents, a sexual relationship is highly valued, desired, and you look forward to that day very much. However, if you decide to open all your christmas presents early, once christmas day comes you will have nothing to open on that special day and there will be nothing exciting about christmas to you because there’s no presents for you to open. If you decide to have sex over and over again before you get married, you’re going to get to that special day and it’s not going to seem very special to you. You’re going to have wasted your opportunities on people that seemed like they mattered, but now you can’t even remember the last time you talked to them.

If you can just wait, you’re honestly almost there and and it will all be worth it in the end because it will be the most special time of your life. You’re not with you boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, you’re with your spouse; the person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life. Why not make it special with the one person that it actually matters with? Why not save those christmas presents for christmas day? That way you will feel special opening them and go through those last couple of weeks like Christmas day knowing that you have something special waiting for you under the tree. So say, NO BANG BANG ON THIS CHOO-CHOO TRAIN.

Our lack of ability to communicate love is our greatest excuse for giving into sinning. We find ourselves not knowing how to communicate our feelings and just pick the thing that first comes to mind. However, patience is the key to owning your life for God. With great patience, comes maturity and wisdom. We all have the ability to build the people up in our life or tear them down. You have the ability to make someone feel just as special as having sex with them by giving them continual encouragement and standing by their side.

The bible tells us that our tongues can even speak death or life into people. As christians, we have a commitment to God to build each other up in life. We have an uncanny responsibility to speak encouragement into our girlfriends and boyfriends, not get mad at them when they let us down.

If you’re in a relationship that only speaks to your sinful nature, that only calls out to your desires of your human body you need to flee. Yes, I know it feels great and feels amazing – God made it, of course it’s going to be amazing, but it is going to lead to the destruction of your self-worth. Relationships have to be uplifting, not destructive. 

Each and everyone of us have our own love language, it’s our duty to discover it – not let someone fill in the blank for us and throw away our purity. Some people show love through words, some through writing, some through gift giving, and some just from being faithful. God has created you to be something and someone special, all you have to do is trust his promises for your life.

It is every guys duty to make sure a girl accomplishes her goals and walk with Christ, not lead her astray. If he is only in it for himself, he is not the one for you. As men, God called us to be leaders to you and enable you to run after your goals and calling on your life; building you up, praying for you, and spending time pouring into you. Yes, these kind of guys exist. You just have to look hard for them, they are few and far in between, but when you find one – you better not ever let Him go.

Before you even go out on a date, you have to run through the motions in your head and make decisions. Before you even think about deciding to find a boyfriend, you have to decide what your boundaries are going to be. When yall start dating, you have to sit down with him and lay down the rules. It’s your duty as a woman to tell him this is the line and it’s his duty not to cross it. Bad company corrupts good character!

Proverbs 8:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

Matthew 8:26 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs

Proverbs 17:9
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends

Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails


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§ 2 Responses to Love Doctor (Pt. 3)

  • Max Nagle says:

    Eric,

    This is the first blog of yours I have read. I always saw that you post these as your Facebook statuses.

    I was extremely impressed with the ideas you put forth. I’m not sure if we ever had a conversation about sex to this depth, but you should know that you have confirmed my opinion on keeping my virginity until marriage with this post.

    I have a question for you, which is not related to this post but to being a Christian: How do you keep God constantly in your thoughts and actions? Should we consciously think of our faith in God or assume that what we think and do is supported by the Holy Spirit and, thus, we don’t need to worry about consciously thinking about God? If you can’t tell, I’m fairly confused as to how I should approach this issue.

    Keep up the Good work man. It looks like you’re doing so well.

    Best,
    Max

    • In all honesty, both of them go hand in hand – not as separate actions. Our actions are guided by the holy spirit because of our faith in God. When we discover what and who God wants us to be for our life, He is all that we think about and do. Moreover, when you live out your purpose for God you are doing his actions and thinking His thoughts.

      For me personally, I would shutter at the thought of living my life and not seeing God use me to further his kingdom. It came down to me realizing that Gods opinion about me and my life far outweighed what other people thought about me because at the end of the day, they aren’t the ones that I will be accountable to about my eternal destination.

      People today don’t need rules to live by, but instead a calling to live for. Being a Christian isn’t about getting our own agenda done in life, while making sure we don’t break certain rules along the way. You and I are going to mess up, we’re going to sin. We are going to lust and we’re going to wrongly treat people, but Jesus already died and covered that for us, so that we could live a life serving our purpose in life- not just living life trying not to break a set of rules. You can have religion, but not have Jesus. Jesus tells us in the bible that “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through Me”. So, you can be a mother teresa to the world and solve world hunger, but if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ than you will go to hell. Throwing aside religion and running after Jesus with all you have and studying how he treated and striving to be “Christ like” will cause you to think of things above (heaven) and live a life serving others.

      God is always telling me this: Do you want to live an average life and be an average person or do you want to change the world and impact others for their eternity? Option #2 comes with a full life dedicated to God and what He wants for my life, not what I want for my life….

      Hope this answers your question on a surface level, feel free to ask me anymore questions you have. Here are a few bible verses I found for you.

      Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

      Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

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