Marry Me (Pt. 3)

July 13, 2011 Comments Off on Marry Me (Pt. 3)

“You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.” -John 14:28

For the last post of the “Marry Me” series, I decided to discuss an all important idea that I like to call the intimate triangle. Learning that such thing does exist will be key into understanding your marriage to be or current marriage.

The intimate triangle is built by 3 intimacy points: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Throughout a relationship, all 3 points are being balanced and have to parallel eachother in order to co-exist. When one goes up, the other must grow to keep them in balance.

Physical intimacy is driven by attraction to one another. The most common flaw of some relationships is by purely seeking someone for their attractiveness, but we never do that do we? Wrong. Established through, kissing, touching, holding hands, cuddling, etc etc.

Emotional intimacy is built once the relationship is established through a co-dependance on one another to share secrets, life stories, and flaws. Emotional intimacy increases physical intimacy easily because the couple feels the pressure of having to keep their partner happy, through physical interactions, because they don’t want to lose them due to the fact that they have shared all their secrets.

Spiritual intimacy is complicated, yet the most powerful of the three because it creates the desire for more physical and emotional intimacy. Built through trust and belief in the relationship and a desire to go deeper. However, it doesn’t work the other way around because I don’t think you’re going to have a desire to study your bible together after making out. Spiritual intimacy is created through studying the bible together, reading a devotional book, or by having deep conversations about God. (CAUTION: I am not saying don’t ever talk about God in your relationship- you’re missing the point)

So what am I saying?

Having a bible study isn’t the secret to saving your relationship for the long haul. Once you’re married, you can throw the intimacy triangle out the window for all I care, but creating awareness of why things are the way that they are is key. If you rely on your significant other to get you to be able to sit down and have quiet time with God, you are going in the wrong direction.

Understanding and being honest who you are in your own walk with Christ will save a relationship. No relationship can ever exist with one person caring the spiritual side, while the other hops on and hopes it’s good enough for both of them.

Before you take the plunge of making this life long commitment to your relationship, you should pay close attention to your mates willingness and ability to take care of the most important relationship in their life- Jesus. If they can’t keep a relationship with Christ, then what would ever make you believe they are going to treat you right?

As a christian, you have every right to have the highest of standards possible because when you have high standards you will know exactly when the person you need to marry meets you. Having high standards isn’t an old fairy tale, it’s the very thing you deserve as the child of the king. You should have a high enough standard that only one person can meet those qualifications– Jesus. Lower from that one tiny bit and you will find the person that you deserve to marry.

“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” -1 Corinthians 6:18


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