Relationship Checklist

November 3, 2011 Comments Off on Relationship Checklist

3 Reasons you’re not ready to be in a relationship…yet

  1. Your conversations with the opposite sex always turn into advice seeking and dissatisfied life decision talks. Here’s the problem: Misery loves company. Your priorities aren’t right and you are seeking the wrong people for advice because they cannot give you the solution to your problem, but only a speculation and mutual pitiless regrets as well. Any relationship that begins with deep emotional stimulation will eventually be required to be stabled with intense physical or spiritual compensation- don’t let this happen. Why? This never ending cycle of always having to be intense in all aspects will leave you dependent on that person for your happiness and leave the door open for you to be burned, hurt, and abused every time. Moreover, fully cutting God out of your life.  The ability to be honest and level with someone is beautiful, but becomes ugly and self centered when it’s the only thing you look forward to in your time with that person.
  2. You plan on making Christ a priority after He gives you prince charming. We like to think that we can approach the negotiation table with God; we think we are worthy enough to make demands of God in exchange for service to Him. But here’s the thing, God is never going to be willing to give you big things in your life if you can’t execute in the small things He wants you to beforehand. God will never honor selfishness, ever. If you aren’t satisfied with who you are as a single person (what God has given you now), you will never find satisfaction in a relationship (what God gives you later). Our obsession with wanting to have what we want, when we want it has inbreed a strong dependance on what we can do for ourselves, rather than honoring the awesome plan God has already created for us. Honor him first, be honored later by Him later.
  3. I don’t have a clue what I want to do with my life. In my opinion, one of the most beautiful and heart warming characteristics about a healthy relationship is the ability to support goals and aspirations of the other person. The most important role any woman can play in their relationship to their man is their ability to provide counsel. Notice I did not say be their counselor, but provide counsel- 2 totally different things. I strongly believe in the wisdom and keen emotional abilities God has equipped each and every woman. However, if you have no clue what you want to do with your life, how do you expect to be able to understand the compatibility of your future with someone else? Yet again, I am not saying you need to go through your contact list until you find someone that has an adaptable job in any city, but it is a true sign of maturity that you have a great awareness and concern for both members futures and aspirations.

Mythbusters (Pt. 2)

September 13, 2011 Comments Off on Mythbusters (Pt. 2)

In my opinion, these are the 7 greatest myths about God, the bible, and christianity facing people today. (Part 2: 4-7)

4. My goal on earth is to survive the world. We are not called to survive this world, but to change this world. The devil leads us to believe that we are merely meant to just survive our trials, survive this lifetime to finally enjoy God in Heaven. While that is partially true, we are never called to survive anything, but to divide and conquer for the Kingdom. Jesus didn’t die for ALL of your sins in hopes that you would survive the world. If He just wanted you to survive then He didn’t even need to lay His life down. Each and every single person is called to something greater, called to a bigger purpose to change the world. It is your uniqueness that makes you powerful, your ability to conquer trials and share your experiences- not just lay them aside and hope to forget them one day. People are going to fail you, but your faith never will. Stand and deliver for The Kingdom. Be the change.

5. I should listen to every piece of advice and criticism I receive (Prov. 13:20-21). Even though someone may tell you that you are wrong or stupid, if God is telling you He wants it done THEY are wrong- God is always right. Not everyone is going to agree with you, you are going to face resistance from even other christians because they are insecure in their faith and don’t like the idea that you’ve found your calling and they haven’t. Hold firm in the promises God has made you and let Him be your friend and walk by your side. Right voices equal right choices. We listen to idiots, some of your friends are stupid. You will listen to you friends while you ignore your parents- we don’t listen to the people that love us the most.  We listen to someone that doesn’t know a thing about our life, one little decision we let them manipulate us into causes us to spend years trying to put our life back into order. We listen to the ones that can gain us the most popularity, not the most prosperity in our faith. You are special, no matter what anyone has ever told you- you matter as a person created in Gods image. Apart from God we are doomed for hell, but with Him we are destined for an eternity glorifying Him with no sorrow, tears, or pain.

6. My parents are divorced, I am doomed to have my heart broken too, so I should shut people out. If you stay close enough to Jesus, He will lift you up every time. We think great people don’t fall, but in reality they fall more than we do, but they know to get back up and show up time and time again. That tragedy of divorce is becoming more and more evident in todays culture more than ever, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be the next statistic. Yes, that happened to your parents, but it does NOT have to happen to you. The only person you have control over is yourself, you cannot control anyone elses life but your own. Through your parents divorce, you will learn what it means to fight for a relationship, to take down the barriers and to trust someone. The longer you wall up your heart, the longer it’s going to take that special person to take them down. Position yourself in a way to let God free you from this attitude and them to heal you. You cannot look to men and women to be your savior, there is no one capable but Jesus Christ who has the power to calm the storms and make the mountains move. They don’t control your destiny, He does. The longer you date and sleep around trying to heal and look for a solution to your painful problem, the more pain you’re going to cause yourself. Jesus can heal you.

7. I have to be a worship leader, author, or preacher to have an impact in ministry. We spend so much time trying to be like everyone else that we miss the uniqueness in our own life and the gifts God has given us. God has called you to do something or to be somebody special at a special place in a special time. Some people are called to be a doctor for the less privileged, to be a CEO of XYZ corporation that can donate millions of dollars to churches and charities, or maybe even an engineer that will design buildings or technology for people far from God to be filled with life in Christ. For so many of us, we know what God has already called us to be but we are too afraid to embrace the reality of the career God wants us to get on track with because it’s not one with a big house, 6 digit paycheck, or loads of vacation time. It’s not about our life to live, but ours to give to the one that gave us EVERYTHING.

Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.

April 25, 2011 Comments Off on Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.

I think so often times I get complaints from girls that all guys are douche bags or there just aren’t any out there. Whether that statement is honestly true or not is besides the point. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship, or already married; the key to any happy relationship lies within you and what you can control: you. Now, before you get all critical or click out of this blog because you think I have absolutely no way of knowing anything because I am neither married or in a dating relationship, I want you to consider this analogy…How many of you know those group of guys or guy that knows literally everything about college football? You know, the type that can tell you where the players went to pre-school, their favorite warmup song, and everything in between, BUT they don’t even play college football yet are still super knowledgeable because they study the game. This is me about dating, you don’t have to be currently married or dating to know a thing or two about relationships…

So here are 3 secrets that I am going to share with you that I have learned about having a healthy, long lasting relationship:

1) Stop dreaming about him and be the person someone else is dreaming about. We all like to think (well yall do, not me) that prince charming is out there just plotting how to sweep us off our feet. However, the only time that plays out is when Walt Disney or Taylor Swift is involved. You have to work on you, you have to work at making yourself right and holy before God. No guy wants a girl to be dependent on him 100%, so if you can learn to define who you really are, what makes you tick, what makes you sad, excited, angry, mad, or happy then you are way ahead of the game – and that’s a really good thing. Stop focusing on “that guy” and start worrying about you alone. When I am looking for a girl, I am closely looking at if she knows who she really is, if she has self confidence to stand alone and depend on God, not me. Each and every girl is beautiful and precious in her own way, but you can’t waste your life dreaming about “mr. right” if you don’t work on being “mrs. right” in the mean time. A high quality guy is looking for a high quality girl!

2) When your walk with God parallels his walk with God, you know you’ve found the right guy. In any relationship you will be in, make sure that you and your boyfriend/husbands walk with Christ is not dependent on you or you’re not dependent on his. Your walk with Christ and goals should be separate from his because this will ensure that you are walking and growing with God, not depending on your man for spiritual breakthroughs. HOWEVER, I do think bible studies, quiet time, and praying for each other are great tools to building a strong relationship together, but it cannot be your only time seeking God for the day. I know so many of yall stress about knowing when “mr. right” will come along, but you will know when he is exemplifying his own walk with God and you are having/enjoying your own walk with God and they will coincide with each other!

3) The goal of every guy should be: to help a girl accomplish her goals and make her a stronger person by not letting her fail in her walk with God. That’s a pretty black/white, non negotiable statement, you will know instantly if he is living this one out. You want a guy that recognizes that you are the most beautiful creation God has created and will cherish and treasure your goals and wants for your life, not tear you down and make you feel bad about yourself by making you enlist to his goals and wants in the relationship. Do not be driven by the affirmation a guy will give you if he is happy with you or not, if you are living to make God happy and he is doing the same, you will never have this issue. Trust me, the more you do with a guy or the greater times you give into what he really wants DOES NOT equal a happy, lasting relationship. It is his duty to make sure that you do not fall astray from your relationship with Christ and to be in constant prayer for you and it is your duty to not tempt him to lead you astray.

Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together.” -Matthew 19:4-6

Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-11

Bring Sexy Back in Your Life

April 14, 2011 Comments Off on Bring Sexy Back in Your Life

How to bring sexy back:

1)We always are selfish and get someone that is better than the person we dated before; she’s always better looking, smarter, thinner, tanner, more rich, but we never consider what we’re teaching our sub conscious to do.We try on people like we try on shoes, we try to constantly find the right one and just throw the ones we don’t like away or on the floor and move on. It’s so sad and everything had to feel a certain way or look a certain color, but then we teach ourselves all about just moving on to the next greatest things when the current shoes we have don’t have color anymore or are worn out. This is so wrong because we aren’t teaching ourselves to be able to go through hard times with the ones that we will love. We are programming ourselves to play “love” all throughout our teenage years and to just love everything we come in contact with to get the best out of our short relationships and to abuse the hearts of those that we date and this is SO wrong. We want to be taken seriously, but we just don’t know how to go about it so we throw around the phrase “I love you”. By the time it’s time to get married, when things get bad and not “fun” dating anymore people want to quit and it all falls apart; affairs occur and relationships fall apart. To bring sexy back, we must learn how to not say to everyone, but to withhold it until you can bet one million dollars on it that you are going to marry that person. To bring sexy back, we have to be patience with ourselves.

2) Boundaries are a blessing, not a curse. God established our boundaries for our own protection, He created sex and he knew the power that he made. Accountability and submission to God is allowing you to say to the world that you want the dreams God gave you for his life. You have fallen so in love with God that you want to show him your love. Boundaries are sexy because they acknowledge you know what is ahead. If you can establish boundaries for yourself about a relationship before you even get into one, you will succeed because you know how you want to react before it even gets to that point. If I ever met a girl that told me these are her boundaries and I have to follow them to date her, I think it would be the most sexiest thing I’ve ever met because this is her acknowledging that she knows the power and the extreme feelings that sex has. I know that I have to honor her for years before I can ever hope to be that special person and share those amazing physical feelings with her because she is so worth it.

3) We value things that we protect. People are all too willing to give away the most important thing to them…If we learn to protect the things we protect, people will learn to put fourth their best effort to earn the most precious, special thing in your life. You become sexy when you become hard to get because it makes everything worth it.

How we fall apart dating:

1) We Don’t set any physical or emotional boundaries…You don’t even know your conscious anymore, you don’t know if it’s God or the Devil talking to you because you go back and fourth about whether or not you think you can do something and still feel like a christian. This is the number one way we will fail! You have to have some sort of boundaries set way before you even date someone otherwise they will talk you into something you’re not ready for.

2) We all ask “How Far is Too Far”, we want to be able to get away with the most that we can. We will always want more and more if we don’t cut ourselves off before our lips even brush with someone. People are so selfish and are only concerned with how much can they get away with before they feel guilty or are shunned by a peer group.

-Ephesians 5:3 “Among you, there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality…”

3)Hooking up with girls doesn’t make you a man, being a man to a girl and leading by example is! Guys began to fail because they think that doing what society tells us will make you “cool” or a man, but it’s so wrong. Taking a girls virginity is not being a man, hooking up with a aesthetically pleasing girl is not being a man. A REAL MAN helps a girl accomplish her goals in life and makes her a stronger person by not letting her fail in her walk with God.

Ephesians 5:25-33 25 husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

How I want to bring sexy back for myself:

I dont care what you’ve given up, but it is time to get it back through the forgiveness of christ. I messed up once before, but I will never make that same mistake again and will make it right with God. I don’t care what you’ve done, it’s what you do with your mistakes that define the strength of who you are; we all fail so much, but if we can learn to turn our failures into opportunities to learn from our mistakes and what worked and what caused us to fail- then you’re always going to win because you will even gain something out of failures. I failed, but I was given a hunger to understand how not to fail again and have become closer to God than ever before to honor my future wife and love of my life.

– I will be accountable for all that I do for her..Not only am I winning the favor of her Earthly father, but her heavenly father as well. I want to be proud of who I am to her. I want to be able for her to love me because I honored and respected her above all else because I think she is so precious and special. Gods gift to me will be my wife and I want to take care of her above anything else in my life!

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