September 1, 2011 Comments Off on In Lust, We Trust
I think the major problem facing this generation and the next upcoming is the desire to want to feel pleasure rather than pain. To feel love rather than rejection.
Guys are unwilling to pursue girls because they are afraid of being rejected. So, they wait for the girls to feel the pressure of pursing them- taking the easy, pain free way out.
A girl pursing a guy means you’re not trusting God enough to provide the right one for you. If any guy ever makes you pursue him, he is not the one for you because he does not respect you enough to come after you. There’s a difference between falling for a guy and falling into a guy.
We like to trust our bodies over our hearts. We like to trust the laws of physical attraction over spiritual attraction. In lust we trust.
But here is the important thing to understand: When you’re trusting in lust you are setting up your relationship to last for a season and not a lifetime. Because you’re going to reach the physical point that you’ve been so vigorously chasing and get there and realize just how shallow your feelings are for that person.
Find a guy that is willing to pursue you, willing to put his reputation out there to go after you. So what if he’s not looking at you, don’t give in- a man must pursue a woman. The more skin you show isn’t going to make him want to pursue you for any good reasons. At the end of the day, the woman you outwardly reflect is going to be the man that you attract. If you want a God-fearing, committed relationship than exemplify that in your own life first.
Stop being a bunch of self-centered wimps and chase after the girl you know you deserve. So what if she rejects you, at least you are enough of a man to put yourself out there. A woman is looking for a man that is willing to make sacrifices for her and the relationship, so you pursing her until she says stop is a major sign of maturity on your part.
There is no relationship that you do not deserve. It does not matter how much you have messed up in your past. Why? He takes away your burden. He repairs and heals you, nobody is set apart from the power that God has to heal you. There is no standard or qualification. Apart from God we are all undeserving of even our lives, but with Him we are called to a greater, grace filled life!
August 29, 2011 Comments Off on Singles Anonymous
“But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil.” (Proverbs 1:33)
The most important decision you will ever make in your life are the relationships that you allow to be in your life and the relationships you choose to take out of your life.
I guess I have such a big heart for the people that are struggling with being single right now because I have that same burden. For the people that can’t see the purpose, but can only remember that past scars and wounds that was created in your heart because of what He or She did to you.
Here’s the thing: Your ability to be single proves your ability to be in a relationship. Are you willing to put your faith in God and take a leap of faith in trusting Him with your singleness or are you constantly searching for the next relationship to fill the void of loneliness?
Learn to be secure in this season of loneliness, learn to trust God with your happiness, love, and feelings about yourself because people are going to let you down- I promise. The people that are going to be the greatest leaders and most impactful spouses in their future relationships aren’t the ones that can satisfy their loneliness by producing a date every night, but that can embrace their singleness and love on God regardless.
You carry so many burdens of past relationships and past hurts, never knowing how you’re ever going to be able to let go. You have to understand that those feelings of hurt, disparity, pain, and betrayal were set plans from the Devil to destroy your future. That abusive, destructive relationship was a plan from hell trying to destroy you. The Devil is so great at trying to distract us with things that we think are important to keep us from the things we know in our hearts are important: God.
That pain is real, those thoughts that haunt you are even more real, but they are eating you away; destroying your purpose in life. If the Devil can’t get you to deny Christ, He’s going to go after your life: mind, body, spirit.
Live in these promises…
Even though it may seem like the greatest men and women are taken, God has someone special just for me. And even that person doesn’t exist, God’s love is more than enough for me because He was willing to die specifically for me to be able to spend eternity together.
There is nobody I don’t deserve, no matter what sin I have committed. There is no such thing as a hierarchy of X amount of sins qualifies me for Y amount of goodness in someone. You are a child of the King, you deserve the best.
Even though no man or woman may find me attractive, I am still willing to run after Gods calling on my life.
Gods opinion of me matters more than anyone else. My boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t have the power to determine whether or not I enter into Heaven, nor would He ever love me enough to go through the pain Jesus went through.
God is going to captivate my heart with the right feelings at the right time for the right person. I cannot force any relationship because I cannot write my own destiny.
May 18, 2011 § 2 Comments
You’re going to the doctor today and you’re symptoms are: lack of communication and ability to show love.
Today, we feel the pressures more than ever to give into our wants and desires. We are fueled by a society that is used to getting what it wants, when they want it. Patience is almost a forgotten virtue and our role models are in the next great movie found in the box office. So, where does God fall in all of this? This world is sexually charged and you can’t even flip on the TV without it coming to your head.
Here’s an analogy involving christmas and love:
1) You know it’s December, but it’s just not Christmas day quite yet….You know you’re in a serious relationship and all the elements are there; the feelings, the “I love you”, their ability to always be there for you, the year long relationship (The snow, the cold weather, the christmas music), but you just don’t quite have the ring on her finger yet.
2) You know exactly what you want, but you’re just not sure yet until you actually open your presents to see if it’s what you wanted…You know exactly what you think sex is about, you think you know exactly what it’s going to feel and be like. But you just won’t know until you actually do it.
3) You have the opportunity to open your presents because you know where they are, even though it’s not even christmas day…You know who would and wouldn’t have sex with you, you know when and where it would be possible, but it’s not even your honeymoon yet.
So here’s the point or the moral of the story- like christmas presents, a sexual relationship is highly valued, desired, and you look forward to that day very much. However, if you decide to open all your christmas presents early, once christmas day comes you will have nothing to open on that special day and there will be nothing exciting about christmas to you because there’s no presents for you to open. If you decide to have sex over and over again before you get married, you’re going to get to that special day and it’s not going to seem very special to you. You’re going to have wasted your opportunities on people that seemed like they mattered, but now you can’t even remember the last time you talked to them.
If you can just wait, you’re honestly almost there and and it will all be worth it in the end because it will be the most special time of your life. You’re not with you boyfriend or girlfriend anymore, you’re with your spouse; the person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life. Why not make it special with the one person that it actually matters with? Why not save those christmas presents for christmas day? That way you will feel special opening them and go through those last couple of weeks like Christmas day knowing that you have something special waiting for you under the tree. So say, NO BANG BANG ON THIS CHOO-CHOO TRAIN.
Our lack of ability to communicate love is our greatest excuse for giving into sinning. We find ourselves not knowing how to communicate our feelings and just pick the thing that first comes to mind. However, patience is the key to owning your life for God. With great patience, comes maturity and wisdom. We all have the ability to build the people up in our life or tear them down. You have the ability to make someone feel just as special as having sex with them by giving them continual encouragement and standing by their side.
The bible tells us that our tongues can even speak death or life into people. As christians, we have a commitment to God to build each other up in life. We have an uncanny responsibility to speak encouragement into our girlfriends and boyfriends, not get mad at them when they let us down.
If you’re in a relationship that only speaks to your sinful nature, that only calls out to your desires of your human body you need to flee. Yes, I know it feels great and feels amazing – God made it, of course it’s going to be amazing, but it is going to lead to the destruction of your self-worth. Relationships have to be uplifting, not destructive.
Each and everyone of us have our own love language, it’s our duty to discover it – not let someone fill in the blank for us and throw away our purity. Some people show love through words, some through writing, some through gift giving, and some just from being faithful. God has created you to be something and someone special, all you have to do is trust his promises for your life.
It is every guys duty to make sure a girl accomplishes her goals and walk with Christ, not lead her astray. If he is only in it for himself, he is not the one for you. As men, God called us to be leaders to you and enable you to run after your goals and calling on your life; building you up, praying for you, and spending time pouring into you. Yes, these kind of guys exist. You just have to look hard for them, they are few and far in between, but when you find one – you better not ever let Him go.
Before you even go out on a date, you have to run through the motions in your head and make decisions. Before you even think about deciding to find a boyfriend, you have to decide what your boundaries are going to be. When yall start dating, you have to sit down with him and lay down the rules. It’s your duty as a woman to tell him this is the line and it’s his duty not to cross it. Bad company corrupts good character!
Proverbs 8:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Matthew 8:26 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs
Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends
Song of Solomon 8:6
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails
April 25, 2011 Comments Off on Ladies. Ladies. Ladies.
I think so often times I get complaints from girls that all guys are douche bags or there just aren’t any out there. Whether that statement is honestly true or not is besides the point. It doesn’t matter if you are single, in a relationship, or already married; the key to any happy relationship lies within you and what you can control: you. Now, before you get all critical or click out of this blog because you think I have absolutely no way of knowing anything because I am neither married or in a dating relationship, I want you to consider this analogy…How many of you know those group of guys or guy that knows literally everything about college football? You know, the type that can tell you where the players went to pre-school, their favorite warmup song, and everything in between, BUT they don’t even play college football yet are still super knowledgeable because they study the game. This is me about dating, you don’t have to be currently married or dating to know a thing or two about relationships…
So here are 3 secrets that I am going to share with you that I have learned about having a healthy, long lasting relationship:
1) Stop dreaming about him and be the person someone else is dreaming about. We all like to think (well yall do, not me) that prince charming is out there just plotting how to sweep us off our feet. However, the only time that plays out is when Walt Disney or Taylor Swift is involved. You have to work on you, you have to work at making yourself right and holy before God. No guy wants a girl to be dependent on him 100%, so if you can learn to define who you really are, what makes you tick, what makes you sad, excited, angry, mad, or happy then you are way ahead of the game – and that’s a really good thing. Stop focusing on “that guy” and start worrying about you alone. When I am looking for a girl, I am closely looking at if she knows who she really is, if she has self confidence to stand alone and depend on God, not me. Each and every girl is beautiful and precious in her own way, but you can’t waste your life dreaming about “mr. right” if you don’t work on being “mrs. right” in the mean time. A high quality guy is looking for a high quality girl!
2) When your walk with God parallels his walk with God, you know you’ve found the right guy. In any relationship you will be in, make sure that you and your boyfriend/husbands walk with Christ is not dependent on you or you’re not dependent on his. Your walk with Christ and goals should be separate from his because this will ensure that you are walking and growing with God, not depending on your man for spiritual breakthroughs. HOWEVER, I do think bible studies, quiet time, and praying for each other are great tools to building a strong relationship together, but it cannot be your only time seeking God for the day. I know so many of yall stress about knowing when “mr. right” will come along, but you will know when he is exemplifying his own walk with God and you are having/enjoying your own walk with God and they will coincide with each other!
3) The goal of every guy should be: to help a girl accomplish her goals and make her a stronger person by not letting her fail in her walk with God. That’s a pretty black/white, non negotiable statement, you will know instantly if he is living this one out. You want a guy that recognizes that you are the most beautiful creation God has created and will cherish and treasure your goals and wants for your life, not tear you down and make you feel bad about yourself by making you enlist to his goals and wants in the relationship. Do not be driven by the affirmation a guy will give you if he is happy with you or not, if you are living to make God happy and he is doing the same, you will never have this issue. Trust me, the more you do with a guy or the greater times you give into what he really wants DOES NOT equal a happy, lasting relationship. It is his duty to make sure that you do not fall astray from your relationship with Christ and to be in constant prayer for you and it is your duty to not tempt him to lead you astray.
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together.” -Matthew 19:4-6
Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But people who are alone when they fall are in real trouble. And on a cold night, two under the same blanket can gain warmth from each other. But how can one be warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4:9-11